PhD in a Day...or Billionaire in a minute!!!

Yeah I know, sounds crazy isn’t it …but guess what, how about becoming the world’s richest person in a day, or why a day ..how about in a minute?

No no, I haven’t gone crazy, the world of Physics research, rather those crazy-ass Physicists who think that Time Travel is possible have just blown my mind. Then I started thinking, how about finishing my PhD and be a Billionaire in a day and then just go to Jamaica or Barbados or may be Malibu and chill out for rest of the life ..sit on my ass for the whole day for the rest of my life with Heineken in one hand and a hot babe on the other!!

Sounds like a dream, no shit man!

Imagine, I go to future, work there for a year, and email back all those files and research results and then take a vacation for a month or two and again do the same thing, so after all is done, I come back to the past ......oops present and then I have enough data to defend and get a PhD!!! Better yet steal someone’s thesis from future and publish as my own work!!!!

Similarly I can go to future, earn a hell lot of money by hook or crook, and then come back to present and that’s it I am a billionaire….or go to past..buy some stocks of apple and Microsoft and sell them during dot com boom....

And to all those gals out there ..guess what I am about to give you the Age-Defying medicine of all!!!! So how is that possible?? Well at the end of the day, you just travel back in time and that’s it you will never get old….you will always be only 18…man that would be the best time and place to live…every girl on planet is 18…WOW!!!!

The shit doesn’t stop here, you see you can do everything you want, legal illegal, moral, immoral, or whatever, and then just turn the switch and that’s it you are back to normal….and you know what ..if you find you are pregnant/ur girlfriend is pregnant…..and follow in the ideology of No Abortion…..WE SAY YES….just travel back in time…and wear a condom!!!

You know you can write your exam paper, just to see the questions, and then travel back in time ..and crack the exam….well boy you can be the first in the school….

Imagine you have the best tip in the stock market, you can make a killing….and well of course you can avoid losing money in stocks like AIG, Lehman, and the likes…Not only that, you can also go to vegas and bet on every damn sport you can…hey you know the results from future anyway, right??

Having said that, no pun intended, you can change the history of the world by killing Hitler!!!!

Imagine, if you could go back to 1950s and tell Pt Jawaharlal Nehru, then PM of India, that you know what aligning with Russia might not be a good idea and so why not side with US? And that the whole non-alignment movement is kind of Shelter for Homeless rather than a third world power!!!

Moving still back in time, if you could tell the Indian Kings that there might be some Foreigners coming to India in the name of trade and they might rule you later on.... so be careful….and stop producing children in hundreds and having wives in dozens and give them lessons of “family planning”

Or may be you could go to Africa and tell the people over there that the foreigners might come and make you slaves in future so be prepared….and teach them the “civil rights movement” lessons!!

And for heaven’s sake….. if someone can please travel back in time and tell it to the people in ancient Egypt, to please leave an explanation of how they constructed Pyramids, so that once and for all …the Discovery Channel would stop showing their Bull shit about the Pyramid Discovery!!!

Or may be if some one can go to the romans and tell them the system of senators and fair politics is really screwing the whole future, cause people are not wise and politics is not fair, and because we people of future don’t have any brains to come up with a new system….so if you may, why don’t you discover a new system of governance so that we jerks from future can continue following that…..

And for humanity’s sake….can someone please go back in time and start collecting the samples of evolution in animals, so that all the bullshit, baloney about the creationism….oops my bad its called as Intelligent Design now …(ID my foot!!!!) can be thrown into the garbage once and for all…….

Not only that, you can even go back in time and meet Jesus, you know the son of God!! and ask him did he really meant what is written in Bible?? or if the Bible is just someone else's idea...and how he survived without a girlfriend or a wife? and tell him if he can change that ...so that no pastor in Christianity would have to abstain from sex or masturbation and so there would be less number of child molestation cases....I know he is quite knowledgeable and sensible, he would make the necessary changes in his life....

Well if you are not his follower and believe in Islam, you can for the first time in your life go back and see the prophet's face for real….yeah I know it’s banned in the religion, but ain’t you curios??...and ask prophet Mohammed why he gave no rights to women, was he betrayed by one or what?? or were his parents mean to him??....and was it because he married a 6 year old....???

And all you Hindus like myself, I am sure you want to find out how in the hell only God Indra enjoys all the “Apsaras like Menaka, and Rambha..and what not” … and is there a chance that you can date with one of those apsaras….and don't you want to see how in the hell Lord Ganesha travels on a mouse??? and that how Hanuman and his Vanarsena used to communicate with Lord Rama, and that if the Ramsetu was really built by him?? ...and if you are already there, why not ask Ravana to go in pursuit of some other MILF and leave Seeta alone, cause her husband is really hard-headed and will smoke-em' out!!!! ....I know you won't stop there, if I am there, I would go to the Mahabharta and would like to see how in the hell Krishna told Bhagvad Gita to Arjuna, and that He and Only HE got the message and all the others were just on the battle field waiting for them to finish!!! Funny ain't it?? Come on ...also if I may I would also like to see the whole Avatars of Vishnu, you know like Varah or Sheshnag or such really really imaginary characters in mythology....also I want to see ...well the list is too long for a blog....

You don’t believe me, then start reading those research papers and watch those documentaries published on Time Travel.

But guess what….I know the best way to travel in time …buy a bottle of Black Label...